From Humans of New York
Today I met an NYU student named Stella. I took a photo of her. Afterwards, she told me about a self-portrait she recently posted on Tumblr. So, instead of the photo I took, here is her self-portrait. Along with the words she wrote:
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WARNING: Picture might be considered obscene because subject is not thin. And we all know that only skinny people can show their stomachs and celebrate themselves. Well I’m not going to stand for that. This is my body. Not yours. MINE. Meaning the choices I make about it, are none of your f*cking business. Meaning my size, IS NONE OF YOUR F*CKING BUSINESS.
If my big belly and fat arms and stretch marks and thick thighs offend you, then that’s okay. I’m not going to hide my body and my being to benefit your delicate sensitivities.
This picture is for the strange man at my nanny’s church who told me my belly was too big when I was five.
This picture is for my horseback riding trainer telling me I was too fat when I was nine.
This picture is for the girl from summer camp who told me I’d be really pretty if I just lost a few pounds
This picture is for all the f*cking stupid advertising agents who are selling us cream to get rid of our stretch marks, a perfectly normal thing most people have (I got mine during puberty)
This picture is for the boy at the party who told me I looked like a beached whale.
This picture is for Emily from middle school, who bullied me incessantly, made mocking videos about me, sent me nasty emails, and called me “lard”. She made me feel like I didn’t deserve to exist. Just because I happened to be bigger than her. I was 12. And she continued to bully me via social media into high school.
MOST OF ALL, this picture is for me. For the girl who hated her body so much she took extreme measures to try to change it. Who cried for hours over the fact she would never be thin. Who was teased and tormented and hurt just for being who she was.
I’m so over that.
THIS IS MY BODY, DEAL WITH IT!!!
I love her, love her hair and cute dimples and charm and sass and confidence. Stella - you're my hero!
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more, Cookies!
ReplyDeleteCan I just say she looks stunning. Just look at that smile. She looks really pretty and looks well perfectly human. Good on you Stella, truly inspirational.
ReplyDeleteI wish that people like Stella could teach courses on how to love yourself. I have suffered from ED's for 8years. Anorexia from 16 to 19 until i found out i was pregnant (which i was told was a miracle given my condition) and bulimia from 20 on. The bulimia started as a way to just drop the baby weight but I'm 24 now and still purging. Its amazing how disgusted food makes me feel.. its the most amazing thing while I'm stuffing my face and as soon as I'm done I'm ashamed. The shame and self loathing are unbearable. The low self esteem is devastating. No matter how much I tell myself that old line I'm beautiful just the way I am it doesn't stick, and my head will continue telling me I'm pathetic until I'm a stick figure. If my bones aren't showing I'm weak. If they taught self esteem in school maybe we wouldn't have such a hard time loving ourselves :-( the trauma from my child hood (single mom, absent dad, then sexually abusive step dad) triggered my mind to believe I'm worthless. I don't know if it will ever stop, but websites like this are a great way to realize we aren't alone, and people do recover. Thank you so much Medusa you are greater than you know!
ReplyDeleteI wish that people like Stella could teach courses on how to love yourself. I have suffered from ED's for 8years. Anorexia from 16 to 19 until i found out i was pregnant (which i was told was a miracle given my condition) and bulimia from 20 on. The bulimia started as a way to just drop the baby weight but I'm 24 now and still purging. Its amazing how disgusted food makes me feel.. its the most amazing thing while I'm stuffing my face and as soon as I'm done I'm ashamed. The shame and self loathing are unbearable. The low self esteem is devastating. No matter how much I tell myself that old line I'm beautiful just the way I am it doesn't stick, and my head will continue telling me I'm pathetic until I'm a stick figure. If my bones aren't showing I'm weak. If they taught self esteem in school maybe we wouldn't have such a hard time loving ourselves :-( the trauma from my child hood (single mom, absent dad, then sexually abusive step dad) triggered my mind to believe I'm worthless. I don't know if it will ever stop, but websites like this are a great way to realize we aren't alone, and people do recover. Thank you so much Medusa you are greater than you know!
ReplyDeleteNahni, my heart breaks for you. Please believe me when I tell you that you are not worthless. You've had a very rough journey and I hope that you will reach out to a professional who can help you with your EDs. You are not alone in your suffering and you can get well. Sending love your way... Medusa
ReplyDeleteyes it is obscene...beCAuSe she's so damn cUTE wow she's gorgeous!!! That smile tho :D and the confidence, she's my hero
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