...OTHER THAN...
I just received the following comment on one of my posts about Aimee Moore:
"Anonymous said...
Girls who "suffer" from anorexia are nothing more than spoiled brats who want attention. Anorexia is not a "disorder" - it is a choice young women make. Aimee Moore is an especially pitiful woman because she is bringing down her entire family with her. Shame on her!
These women don't need treatment. They need a good swift kick in the rear. If they don't straighten up then their families should wash their hands of them.
Aimee Moore and others like her should be shipped off to a place like the Sudan to see real suffering and be forced to work with the people there who have endured real hardship. That would probably jolt her out of her narcissistic, self-serving, selfish, bratty behavior. Paleeze, I have no patience for these ridiculous, woe-is-me, pity-party girls. Group up!
September 12, 2009 3:26 PM"
I truly wonder how many other ignoramuses in the world believe this.
UPDATE: And this further comment just in from Anonymous:
Anonymous said...
"I meant, "Grow up!"
I'm hardly ignorant about these matters since I suffered through a year of this nonsense with an old girlfriend. She was a whiny, spoiled-rotten, self-centered girl who just needed a stern talking to.
If anorexia is an "illness" why is it not prevalent in third world countries? And why is it so commonplace in the US? Because girls in the US are spoiled rich kids who haven't suffered real tragedy. Many children living in poverty in African nations, for example, are concerned about their next meal, finding a roof over their heads, living in the midst of civil unrest. They don't have time to sit around and hold a pity party for themselves.
Aimee Moore is a brat. Her family should boot her out the door and wish her good riddance. She contributes nothing to society. Though her freak show antics provide hours of warped entertainment.
September 12, 2009 5:03 PM"
I'm hardly ignorant about these matters since I suffered through a year of this nonsense with an old girlfriend. She was a whiny, spoiled-rotten, self-centered girl who just needed a stern talking to.
If anorexia is an "illness" why is it not prevalent in third world countries? And why is it so commonplace in the US? Because girls in the US are spoiled rich kids who haven't suffered real tragedy. Many children living in poverty in African nations, for example, are concerned about their next meal, finding a roof over their heads, living in the midst of civil unrest. They don't have time to sit around and hold a pity party for themselves.
Aimee Moore is a brat. Her family should boot her out the door and wish her good riddance. She contributes nothing to society. Though her freak show antics provide hours of warped entertainment.
September 12, 2009 5:03 PM"
I'm not going to post any more of Anonymous's crap. I don't like feeding trolls. It's frightening to know that there are people out there who are of the same mindset as Anonymous.
Oh, and here's the link to Anonymous's comments on my post about Aimee (scroll to the bottom):
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Medusa,
wow I want to also kick "anonymous" in the ass.
I've been suffering from an eating disorder for 5 years now. Its websites like yours that remind me why I need to keep in control and stay as healthy as possible. Its not just in the US that eating disorders are prevalant. And its starting to spread into "third world countries" I don't know if it was on your website, or somewhere else, but many african women are starting to starve themselves. Usually, however, being 'thin' shows poverty.
Its an illness. I'm not a spoiled brat, I suffer. My boyfriend suffers with me. I hate it, but I love that he supports me as best he can. I feel sorry for Aimee more, and it shows true love that her mother hasn't "kicked her out the door" because she would have entered death's door a long time ago.
People suffer ED's for so many reason, and from many social status. It is real though. I feel like I've 'grown up' because I am aware of the fact that my 'ilness' leads to death.
Thank you for your blog
(((Stick Thin)))
Thanks so much for your comments and the excellent points you made.
Hugs to you,
Medusa
This makes me sick but it's the world we live in, one of ignorance. Sad we have to share the world with such idiots.
I have battled 20 years and grew up poor. I have never been rich and have always worked and paid my way. I had a rough upbringing and a lot of ridicule which contributed to my eating disorder though I don't blame. It is what it is and I am in recovery because I want it more than anything now.
anorexia is hell. I wouuldn't wish it on anyone (well maybe to anonymous so he/she'd get a grip). Looks like anonymous didn't have the guts to handle such a horrific disease which merely shows what a coward he/ she is.
Thanks medusa for your blog. I actually found it when searching for information to do a tribute blog to Karen Carpenter. My next tribute will be Cynthia Rowland Mcclure who passed away of cancer and is known for the monster within. incredible book. I had the honor of attending two of her hope weeks for eating disorders.
((hugs)) Brande
...Basically everything that "Stick Thin" said. I honestly can't even form the right words in order to express how I feel about that ignorant fool (other than "I want to choke him or her").
It's people like "anonymous" that make it harder for people with eating disorders to seek help.
To Anonymous: Many people with eating disorders die each year due to lack of professional help. Many of them do not get the help they need because they are too afraid of being judged by people like you. I hope you feel very proud of that.
Hell..
From the first part I knew that who wrote was a guy. Not just any kind of guy, but one of those kinds that never thinks, but only acts.
As in he doesn't understand the psychology of a human's mind.
People in war have no time for anything else than survival. It's pretty obvious. They don't even have time for frendship, love and so on...
A human being develops its best and worst in a state when he has food and a shelter.
So I don't think it's fair to compare the US and countries where people starve. I wouldn't even mention Africa's people because that's a completely different mentaliy.. The dude should surly read something before he speaks.
But still.. Bulimia, Anorexia and so on are eating disorders. And since people need help when they do have them, it's not some kind of bullshit.
Eh, and the mentality 'I broke with my ex because she was a spoiled brat with an ED' is ... just plain sick.
I feel sorry for the guy, because he lives in ignorance.
Medusa, I think you should disable anoymous comments?
not interested in him. You can´t help attention whores who practise an "intelligence-anorexia" as a lifestyle.
Medusa-
Thanks for the blog. Very informative.
I read with some interest what "anonymous" wrote and while I found his/her tone abrasive and harsh, I do believe there are some nuggets of truth to what "anonymous" says.
I'm 26 and have struggled with an eating disorder since I was 14. It has been a long, hard, and painful battle. But over time I got better. And most of the improvement was made without treatment because I made a deliberate decision to take responsibility for my life.
I'm not saying anoxeria isn't an illness. But I am saying that we do make choices.
"Anonymous" is correct that anoxeria is more prevalent in the US. In fact, according to the World Health Organization, the US leads the world in sufferers of bulimia, anoxeria, and borderline personality disorder. There are likely a number of reasons for this, some of which "anonymous" alluded to. For example, in third world countries the standard of living is much lower. Consequently, in poorer communities young women don't have access to media and therefore, are not bombarded with constant, unhealthy messages about our bodies.
In addition, people in poorer countries are focused on survival. In the US, because of our great wealth, we do have the luxury of free time. And too much free time is what has gotten me into trouble. I tend to get too much inside my head and focus too much on me. A big part of my recovery has been focusing on others and developing interests. I began working at an animal shelter when I was 21 and that has forced me to care for others, focus on their needs, and occupy my time. I've made remarkable recovery just by turning my energy away from food to helping animals in need.
Finally, there is the issue of family enabling those of us who suffer from EDs. My mother played a large role in perpetuating my ED. She pampered and coddled me so much, essentially enabling me, when I really needed some tough love. I'm not saying that works for everyone but after watching the Dr. Phil segment on Aimee Moore, I wondered if she needed more of a push to help her take responsibility for her actions. Its a difficult question.
Anyway, I hope you will publish this on your blog because I think it might help other young women like me. I would encourage your readers not to summarily dismiss "anonymous", try to get past his/her harshness, and read between the lines. Perhaps what "anonymous" writes has some truths tucked behind the angry tone.
Tamara, I receive so many wonderful comments from anonymous posters that I am loathe to disable anonymous comments.
Some days, you get the good with the bad :^)
~ Medusa
To Anonymous on Sept. 13/09 @ 5:09 p.m:
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. There is much truth in what you've said, and your thought-provoking comments are especially meaningful in light of the fact that you've "been there," unlike Anonymous, who started this ball rolling.
As an aside, I have received another comment from Anonymous, which I will not be posting in its entirety due to its inflammatory nature. Here, however, is the last line in his/her comment:
"I say let Darwinism proceed with these weak people."
'Nuff said from Anonymous.
That comment really hurts. Clearly that person has not learned about eating disorders at all. Im not a spoiled brat, I dont have alot of money and i have an eating disorder. What does Africa have to do with eating disorders? I care about that stuff I donate money towards that. This person who doesnt have the balls to put his real name needs to go back to school.
That makes me so angry.. im not a brat or spoiled. I would love to be able to just eat something and not regret it for hours or not go puke it up. I would love to just be able to love myself and think im beautiful. Ive tried this, but you know what, I cant. I have been this way since i was little, but I guess me hating myself and food is just because im a spolied brat? And what makes me even more pissed is, if this guy thinks so bad about us why does he even take the time out of his day to get on here and put us all down? Really shows who the selfish brat is huh?
Anonymous is a twat. Think that just about covers it. I have a feeling that his/her views *are* relatively common though.
(((((Medusa))))) Thanks so much for writing this blog... I am fighting hard to recover after 15 years of ED shit (which must make me a SERIOUSLY spoiled brat eh? bwahahahaha)
xxxx
(((Holly)))
Your comment about being a seriously spoiled brat broke me up :^)
Best wishes to you, hon, on your road to recovery. I'm pulling for you!
Hugs,
Medusa
wow..... just wow. That really ticks me off to no end!!! If that ... person... knew HALF the things most of us, if not all of us have went through then maybe they would shut their mouths and keep their own opinions to themselves. Maybe some ppl who develop this disorder are attention seeking snobs, but mostly... absolutely not. People who do not deal with these disorders will never understand them nor can we expect them too. It is in my best interest to not allow "anonymous" to bother me because I will only allow them to make me feed further into my disease. We are ALL beautiful people who have been tragically hurt in many ways and are trying to learn how to live a life.
I gotta agree with "anonymous," though I wouldn't say it quite the same way. I battled anorexia for six years then got my act together by joining a youth group that helped kids in poor neighborhoods. That showed me what actual suffering was like and made me realize I was pretty blessed and that my anoxeria was really a way to avoid taking responsibility for my life. My struggles with anoxeria disappeared nearly overnight after I stopped obsessing about me, me, me.
Now I help other young women dealing with EDs. Nearly all of them admit to me that they spend a lot -- too much -- time thinking of themselves. When I encourage them to focus on others they nearly all get better.
Since I've been free of anoxeria for a few years now I'm not even sure it is an illness. I snapped out of it once I discovered there was more to life. That making a difference by helping others (rather than pitying myself) was what was important in this world. Some of you may not want to hear what I have to say but, hey, it worked for me.
I can only wonder why anonymous was on this site to begin with. Obviously if anon is searching around on the internet for info on eating disorders, he (I'm assuming he's a guy) has some unresolved issues on the subject. Or maybe he just wanted to create a stir and upset people with anonymous comments because he can't do it in real life. Pretty sad, in that case.
I was anorexic as a teenager and feel extremely grateful to be almost completely free of it now. I can admit that I was very self absorbed at that time. When I think of the pain I put my family through, I want to reach back and slap myself. That doesn't change the fact that anorexics reach a point where their disease controls them. Anorexics and bulimics will lie, steal, and harm themselves without caring how it affects others. That is the disease, not them. It takes a strong and caring person to deal with and support an eating disordered loved one--many cannot. I am so glad to be free of that monster, and I hope and pray for the recovery of anyone reading this blog who is currently struggling with it in them or a loved one.
Medusa,
Wow. After reading this post from "anonymous" all I could say is Oh My God.
I have been suffering from anorexia/bulimia for 6 years and there is not a day where I don't wish to be "normal". If someone offered me a 200 pound body that came with self acceptance and high self esteem, in exchange for my stick thin body and wanting to die every day, I would take it in a heartbeat. Anorexia is like the devil, who takes over our bodies and minds and makes us think were in control, when really we are useless.Eating disorders are NO ONES FAULT. not the family's nor friends, and certainaly not your own.
Aimee Moore is just a soldier in a horid war who should get some sort of recognition for being able to fight this ugly fight with anorexia. Obviously "anonymous" has never had an eating disorder, and until he/she does they should NOT BE TALKING. Thats all I'm going to say.
Anyone and everyone who is reading this, and is fighting this war called ED, do not give up. There is a light at the end of this tunnel and I assure you that its coming soon. Just have hope, and believe in the beautiful being that is you.
(((Josephina)))
Thanks so much for sharing. My heart goes out to you.
Sending hugs your way, and hope for your recovery...
Medusa
xoxo
You know what else they tend not to have in the Third world? Obesity and type 2 Diabetes. Does this mean they don't exist, or that they aren't serious medical problems? NO! Eating disorders are serious problems with a PSYCHOLOGICAL BASIS! The amount of literature on this is phenomenal! SO Anonymous, get a freaking clue, and next time have the guts to identify yourself with your pathetically ignorant opinions.
Eating disorders ARE a problem in underdeveloped countries too.
I live in a third world country, Colombia. And anorexia is prevalent here. In my city, Medellin, called the "fashion capital of the country", 17% of girls are in risk of developing an eating disorder. I'm not inventing statistics, you can read by yourself:
http://www.iadb.org/NEWS/detail.cfm?language=English&id=3249
I know many colombian, peruvian, mexican, chilean, etc. girls who are anorexic or bulimic. They even have lots (And I mean, LOTS) of pro-ana blogs and sites. A model aged 22, Valentina Fernandez, died of anorexia while "dieting" to participate in the fashion show Colombiatex. She only fed on apples, water and lettuce when she died.
Here's her story (In Spanish):
http://www.univision.com/content/content.jhtml?cid=539543
My sister's best friend in school suffered from an eating disorder. She wasn't rich, she wasn't selfish or spoiled. She was a brilliant student, a really nice girl, she was only a shy girl with a low self-esteem. And she eventually recovered, with the love and care of her family and friends. Now she is a healthy and successful doctor.
Medusa, your blog is great. I know a bunch of ignorant people and pro ana girls who really need to read it. And please excuse any mistakes, my english is not very good.
eviekeller , great comment, and so true.
Wow, Lady Thing, those statistics are startling. Thanks so much for commenting and for your kind words. I really appreciate it. And, by the way, your English is excellent!
Hugs to you both,
Medusa
xoxo
in anthropology we learned "disease is universal, illness is culture specific".
eating disorders are "first world diseases", because of the fact that they are not found in developing countries... but that does not make them psychosomatic, and does not erase the effects they have on individuals or their loved ones.
combine this illness of privilege with a "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" society, and you end up with comments like those found above.
I wonder if this person anonymously commenting has grown up in a third word country, BECAUSE I HAVE GROWN UP IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY -and- I have anorexia nervosa.
I am very lucky to have gotten the chance to move here when I was a teen.
However, with this chance came some severely horrible experiences, too. A lot of the time I wish I was back home, but even if I were to return to my home country living in a city there that I would be able to have a house and everything, I don't have enough money to even buy myself food in this country.
Because I was not English, a blonde with blue eyes and having European background I was raped and beaten daily when I moved to Canada, and forced to go through FGM.
So most of the time I regret ever coming here with a lie of this country being so multicultural and people telling me by coming here my life will be "saved."
So as for me being spoiled, I can definitely say I was never.
I have been poor almost all my life, and for a lot of the part, poor to the extremes. (Not having a home, not having food and having family members starve to death without being anorexic.)
----
And trust me, I've had plenty of good swift kicks in the rear all my worthless life.
I've been abused since I was a little toddler straight into my thirties, both sexually and physically.
If beating the shit out of anyone ever helped people get better, I would be fucking PERFECT by now.
All this abuse CAUSED my anorexia and kept it going for almost 25 years, now.
So shut the fuck up about that shit.
This idiot has no clue how anorexia is caused, how much trouble it is to treat, or what it is like to live with it. I'm guessing this is a he, and he has no right to make a comment, or even have it acknowledged.
(So this is the only time I'll give him any attention because it's obvious this is all he wants.)
Also, I think this person may be applying their negative feelings toward their girlfriend to ANYONE with anorexia.
Stop being an attention whore and get a life.
I am also from Colombia and I have been struggling with ED's for 4 years. Many of the girls who suffer from any type of eating disorders (including me) have been diagnosed with psychiatric problems such as depression, anxiety, obsessive behavior and social phobia.
It is not just about where are u from or how rich u are... If it was that simple, it would be easy to deal with and to be resolved.
I've been suffering from bulimia for years now, ED is not choice, it's a disease. 'anonymous' is ignorant.I'm suffering, my family too, Ive made my mom cry because of what I've become and my boyfriend too.. I don't want all that to happen..
i really like your blog,it gives me strenght.
<3
(((Lene)))
Thanks so much for your kind words.
Sending hugs your way and wishes for your recovery...
Medusa
xoxoxo
I myself also USED to think along a similar line as Anon, I thought that those with ED were just people who were simply choose to not eat or chose to purge. I used to think it was something that they did because they were people who thought they needed to be models. Well then my best friend since we were born who's like a sister to me developed an ED, she didnt want to be a model, she wasnt spoiled really. Unless you counted her single mother giving her the occasional gift as she could afford it as being spoiled.
She developed an ED fairly young she was only 13 and I was 16 at the time, it started off as Ana with her barely eating and then when forced to eat by her mother and my mother she resorted to purging. For along time she couldnt even admit to herself or us that she had a problem. She's now been in hospitals numerous times as she is now aware of her problem and she fights daily with her self-image and to eat foods that are even a bit high in fat. My friend is nothing like what you described Anon, mine is a quiet, shy girl who was raised by a single mom and wasnt spoiled. My friends ED was caused by mental and emotional abuse she suffered at the hands of her father before he died, and also by her own mom constantly talking about how she was unhappy with her own weight. My friend knows that her ED isnt healthy for her and she knows she shouldnt do it, but its a compulsion that she cannot just stop with a snap of her fingers, its a daily struggle and fight for her. Its been 12 years since my friend was diagnosed with an ED, 14 years since she had it, and she still struggles with it daily and just when we think shes doing better then she is admitted to the hospital again, so eff off Anon for you basically assuming that all people with ED's are like 1 you knew.
Does this person really think you can't have a hard life in the US? I used to live there; I knew people who had been abused, abandoned, and pressured to the point of developing eating disorders as well as drug and alcohol abuse. Saying that it's a method of getting attention is like saying that being depressed is being 'over dramatic' or that having a learning disorder is caused by being lazy. Because I totally choose to have ADD, chronic migraines and terrible math skills, right? 'Anonymous' sounds like one of those freaks who says being gay is a choice.
I hope they get sterilized and stay out of the gene pool.
Anonymous: F*CK YOU
Dear "Anonymous",
I think I know you. You're the guy in 7th grade who called me a "fat cow" and mooed every time I walked by.
You're the girl on the bus who stood up to give me two seats because I'd "need the room" and then whispered about touching my "flab".
You're the girls who laughed at my clothing choices, at my inability to buy name brand items. You're the girls who told me that if I wanted to be popular I'd throw out half my lunch so I'd "fit in the good chairs".
You're the taunting girls who drove my best friend away from me to mia before I could even understand what was wrong. We were in 5th grade. We were 11, and I just didn't understand what was happening. I'm sorry that I couldn't help her, but I'm also grateful that I was 16 before I started to care about the taunts and my figure. I had more time free, and was more sure of myself for it.
You're the girl at my HS renunion who looked me up and down with lip curled and commented that "college didn't help much".
You're the Doctor who told me I should stop my psych meds for a while to "lose weight" so I'd "feel better".
...
I'm bipolar, for reference. Stopping my meds is THE WORST POSSIBLE thing I could do and my psych doctor would have a hernia. I'd lose years of struggling to stabilize. Yes, psych meds made me gain weight, but they also gave me back my mind and my life.
I'm lucky, "Anonymous". I heard you but I didn't let your words change my actions. I'm not saying they didn't hurt and drive me to tears and self hate. I'm not saying that I don't flinch when I run into you in public and hate my scale. I am saying that I fought your words with everything I could, and my family did everything they could to back me.
I'm unhappy with my weight, but I refuse to let your snap judgments define me. I'll follow a healthy diet but it will be on MY terms. My terms are carefully discussed with my Doctor and my mother who is a nurse.
You, "Anonymous", are the worst kind of cruel. You don't think before you speak, you put others down to make yourself feel better, you go to a support site like Medusa and attack those who seek help there.
You're scum, "Anonymous". I would hate you, but it would only hurt me because you will never care. It would be a victory to you because someone is listening to your poisonous words. Sometimes, I wonder what makes you so bitter and blind.
More often, I remember that your approval or disapproval changes nothing in my life. Your words may hurt, but they won't keep me from paying my bills or loving my fiance.
"Anonymous", you don't matter to the stability of my world.
personally, i have not suffered from an eating disorder. i am, however, a major in psychology, so i understand how the mind works. and people like anonymous should think about picking up a text book once in a while. any human being in their right mind wouldn't choose to starve or purge no matter how "spoiled" they may be. that's the problem with people suffering with eating disorders. they're NOT in their right minds. they need help. they would never choose an eating disorder. the disorder generally chooses them and completely takes over their lives. i make it my goal to help people who suffer because people like anonymous need to be placed on the bottom lines. this person needs to educate themself to the the reality of psychological disorders and stop being so close minded.
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