UPDATE FROM BONYPINK (April 18, 2010)
"BonyPink said...
Thank you very much for removing the photo, I have been trying for YEARS to get them all off the net.
There was a point in time, some years back, where you couldn't find a single stupid pro-ana site that didn't have at least one or two of those horrible photos on it.
Over the years, thankfully, I've been legally getting hundreds of websites shut down and/or those photos removed. I usually ask them first, but often some of them actually have the audacity to tell me "no." It is then that I involve my lawyer and teach the little brats a lesson they won't forget about photo-theft.
I've even had to put up with some of those idiot pro-anas/wannarexics telling me things about the photos such as, "If you didn't want people to take them, you shouldn't have posted them online."
I DIDN'T post them online. I was forced to pose in those photos (along with another girl who I became friends with while this was going on) by a horrible man who raped and beat us daily. He had been holding us against our will and forcing us to pose nude and semi-nude in pornographic fetish photos for these horrible sick anorexic fetishists. So, no, I did NOT post those terrible photos on the internet.
Oh, by the way. No worries about you, though, 2Medusa. I haven't grouped you in with those rotten pro-ana idiots. I know you only meant to show the harsh reality of eating disorders, and I am very glad that you, too, speak out against the horrible pro-anas as well as try to educate the public about eating disorders. (I do this as well over my own websites and over facebook, youtube and xanga.)
Best wishes to you, and thank you again for removing the photo(s).
----------------------
Oh yes, I almost forgot...
As for whoever it was up there who said I was never anorexic, "d'arcy" I think;
I am terminally ill, residing in a hospice, dying from multiple organ failure which has been caused by anorexia nervosa, type II. I've been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa for over 25 years (not counting the years I had the illness before being diagnosed). My anorexia nervosa was caused by FGM and being raped and abused all throughout my childhood, adolescence and adulthood.
There are a LOT of rumors about me floating around the internet. I would suggest that unless you have spoken directly to ME, not to spread any more of them, please.
April 18, 2010 6:13 PM"
Tips from an Ana website
(complete with typos & redundant tips)
Please note that I did not write these. These "tips" are all over the internet.
"Remember that you do have to eat sometimes. Not a lot of course but you have to eat something. Make sure you eat at least two things each day.
Remember that Ana is not always fun. It can be so awful sometimes you'll want to die. You'll learn alot about yourself but we don't want any accidents do we? There no use being thin if your dead.
There's food inside the fridge right? Wrong. All thats in the fridge is faliure! Is that what you want?
Does Ana want to go in the fridge? No she does not. Its time youy started paying attention to what Ana wants, not what you want.
The butter is congeled custard, the meat dead cat (eww) etc etc, Make up gross images for all the foods you snack on.
Open the fridge. Look inside. Look at all that food. Is it really that great? You don't need it really do you?
Anorexic Wallmeyer Twins
The food is sneaky. It is trying to tempting you to eat it and get fat/ter. Try this when your alone: Look at the food and laugh at it. No seriously, try this. Laugh at the food and tell it out loud how stupid it is. Tell it how it can't tempt you and you won't be going anywhere near it. Tell the food you don't need it. This is very helpful when your craving. It helps me all the time.
If all else fails, i hear padlocks are effective ;)
Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and then you'll get hungry more.
Eat in front of a mirror naked. See how much you can eat then!
Hit your stomach (just not too hard) if it's growling too loudly.
Curl up in a ball if you have hunger pains.
Wear perfectly applied lip gloss. It makes you more aware of what's going in your mouth. Also, flavored ones help with cravings.
When going out, take only the amount of money you'll need. Nothing extra, that way you won't be tempted to spend it on food.
Have 6 small meals a day. Take 2 apples, and split them so you can make 6 meals out of them. That way your body will be tricked into thinking it's eating more.
Find a buddy onine, and do fasts with them, competitions, or just have someone to email when you're craving.
Wear a rubber-band around your wrist and snap it against your skin when you are tempted to eat.
If you eat right before bed, lay on your left side so the food goes through your system faster.
Chew gum if you need to cook so you won't eat any of the food.
If you're a smoker and hungry, light up a cigarette. It curbs your appetite.
Before you dig into that cake, bag of chips, candy, or whatever, take a deep breath and count to 100. Usually by the time you get to 100 you will have convinced yourself that you don't really want it.
When you're hungry chug 2 glasses (or how many you need) of straight water. It'll make you so full and nauseous you will have completely lost your appetite.
Spin in circles, you will be too nauseous to eat.
If you're right handed, eat with your left hand. It will take a lot longer to get the food to your mouth.
Find something that makes you feel ill or unpleasant and think or look at it as you eat. After a while you make begin to associate food itself with unpleasantness.
Hand of a 46-year-old anorexic woman
Fidgeting burns 500-800 extra calories a day. Suck in your tummy and squeeze your buns, bounce your legs, sway side to side, swing your feet, ect.
Take a shower. Hot steamy water can suppress your appetite and paying close attention to your body will remind you exactly why you're losing weight in the first place.
When eating, put down your silverware or sip water in between each bite. Your stomach will feel full faster and you are less likely to overeat.
Chew every bite at least thirty times. Your food will taste better and you will be much more satisfied. Don't swallow until all the flavor is gone from of each bite.
Pay attention to when and what you are eating. Ask yourself: "Do I really want to eat this?"
Weigh yourslef before and after every time you eat. Not only will it eliminate unnecessary eating, but it will make you want to eat less when you see the numbers creep up.
When dining out, no matter what the waiter says about the fat or calorie content of food assume everything is covered with butter, even the silverware.
Cleaning something dirty can make you lose your appetite. The toilet, the litter box, under the kitchen sink, scrubbing out the garbage bin, anything grimy or smelly. The mess, along with the smell of the cleaner, can put you off food for a while.
Make it a rule that you always have to burn twice the calories you consume (i.e., if you ate something with 100 calories, you would have to burn 200). The thought of all the exercising you would have to do can be very discouraging.
Turn the temperature down in your car/house, or open windows in your room at night, so that you'll be colder and your body will have to burn calories to keep warm.
When you lose weight reward yourself with something you want (not food obviously). Shopping is always good.
Instead of buying food, buy yourself flowers. Food is depressing, but flowers make you happy.
Exchange a bad habit for a good one (i.e. someone trades smoking for jogging). This may be hard, but very rewarding if you can do it. Exchange eating for yoga, or meditation, or reading more.
Think higher of yourself! You're too good to put THAT in your body!
Save the money you would have spent on that meal in a jar. Save it in a bottle instead and watch it grow.
Eat vicariously. Watch other people eat, and feel superior! You don't need that food. They are feeding their fat bodies and they're getting fatter! You can see then growing! How repulsive.
Brush your teeth frequently. A fresh mouth helps keep you from wanting to eat.
Different sleeping habits. Go to bed later than everyone else, so you can exercise while they're sleeping. Wake up later, and have a light breakfast when they eat lunch, they'll think nothing of it.
If you feel like you want to eat, go to a friends house that you cannot just raid the fridge at.
Spoil your food. As soon as you've cooked/served up your meal, put too much salt, pepper, sauce, (or even detergent) on it. That way you won't want to eat it!
Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you feel like eating.
Brush your teeth when you feel like eating.
Ok, so you feel hungry. Its all in your head. Don't waste time with food. Food is a hindrance to your progress and we know Ana is always watching. Are you seriously going to eat in FRONT of her. Lets not be rude.
Ana knows you can do this and you knew you could do this before you started thinking about food. So stop dreaming of cookies, focus yourself and remember why your hungry in the first place. You want this, you need this so don't wreck it now.
Leave the house with no money and walk around, chase butterflies, take the dog until the need to binge has gone.
If your by your self start yelling at your self. Tell your self you don't need this. Scream if it helps. Just get the binge feelings out of your system. I find this very effective.
Spray perfume on the food you're dying to eat. You won't (and shouldn't cause you'll get really sick) eat it then.
Be sure to fuck up your relationship with food from the start. You want to make yourself as neurotic as possible about food, eating, kitchens, cutlery, refrigerators, restaurants, and hey, why not stretch this out even further and start hating the actual source of foods, in other words the actual animals and plants.
Associate food with disgusting things. Draw pictures of juicy red apples, somehow morphing into giant dead rotting pigs. Put pictures of fat girls on your fridge, or better yet, pictures of yourself for a bit of productive self-loathing.
Karlene, who is anorexic, showing her loss of teeth from bingeing & purging
Link: THE SHOCKING FACE OF ANOREXIA & BULIMIA...KARLENE IS IN HOSPITAL (NOVEMBER 10, 2008)
Create a list of suitable punishments either for thinking of food, or for caving in and eating food itself. A good one to try is to keep a rubber band on your hand and flick your skin whenever you think of eating. Eventually you will have a swollen hand, and a shrunken body; you will have ceased thinking of food so much. Other punishments include ridiculous amounts of exercise, purging, self-mutilation, isolation, basic denial of necessary comforts such as blankets on a cold night, or shelter when it is raining.. or simply menial, disgusting tasks such as cleaning the bathroom. Remember, you need discipline.
Trick yourself into believing your life sucks. Be mean to people so that they instigate fights, just to make you constantly on edge, or nervous, so you cant eat. After all, you'll be light-headed and dizzy, and irritable from not eating, so you have an excuse. Become an angst-ridden teenager. You'll be making yourself nauseous from worry and self hatred in no time.
Anorexic mantras
"An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person."
"I'm not starving myself...I'm perfecting my emptiness."
"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."
Look at pictures of anorexics. This should be enough to sufficiently fuck up and cloud your perceptions. Above all, convince yourself you are above others, a hero, owing to your spectacular powers of restraint. Feel elitist. Feel as though you are somehow super-human for resisting the urge to eat. Feel better than the other mere mortals who dig in to their cereal and their donuts. Believe in the power of starving as though it were a religion.
Link: TERRI SCHIAVO: BULIMIA & ITS DEADLY CONSEQUENCES...
Make up rules you cannot deviate from. Only allow yourself one food a day. You will get sick of the taste and therefore eat less due to boredom.
Brush your teeth and tongue all the time. Food will taste yukky with toothpaste, so whats the point of eating it?
Eat while in the front of the mirror naked. You will be completely repulsed, and repelled from the food. This is a good thing.
Feel your hunger..don't try to suppress it. You WANT to be hungry. If you're not then you're not doing it right. Hunger is not your enemy!
Did you know that there are 2 pounds of dead skin on you right now!!?! Thats right! 2 POUNDS! ...if you're underweight or in starvation mode your body does not "shed" its skin the way it should. It holds on to it.
Pinch your thigh and see how you don't need food, because you should be eating your own flesh all away from the inside first, before you are deserving of actual legitimate sustenance.
Buy some baby teething gel and rub it on your tongue, to numb your tastebuds.
If you're feeling brave enough to face the kitchen, go there and throw out any potential binge foods. If you must, pour bleach/disinfectant/dishwashing detergent on the food, and then throw it away!
Pinch your ear! Apply pressure to the front of the ear, one at a time.
Let perfume replace chocolate. Every time you have a craving, or pass a bakery, sniff some Chanel no. 5. Apply it to a tissue and carry it with you. Smell has a powerful effect on appetite.
Clean something. Cleaning something dirty can make you lose your appetite. The toilet, the litter box, under the kitchen sink, scrubbing out the garbage bin, anything grimy or smelly. The mess, along with the smell of the cleaner, can put you off food for a while.
Young girl, death from bulimia
Link: BULIMIA KILLS.....WARNING! GRAPHIC PICTURES
Deny anorexia at all costs. Pretend you have not noticed the pounds dropping off you. Don't be suspicious.
Whenever you do decide to eat, do it in the company of others. That way they can't say they never see you touch food.
Leave a dirty plate lying around every so often for your parents to yell at you about.
Drink out of opaque cups, and spit your food into it whilst preteding to drink. They'll never know.
Eat really slowly because if everybody else is on their third slice of pizza, they'll assume you are too, even if you're still finishing your first.
Sign out of hotmail and clear the history before you get off of the Internet. This will eliminate Autofill being ever so helpful while your Mum is researching aardvarks, and coming up with www.anorexicsanonymous.com for her. In short, don't leave traces lying around for others to find.
Purge in the shower, or in your sink while music is playing, people will be less supicious.
If you're about to binge, chew some gum, and think to yourself "2/3rd's of America is obese. Why add to that number?"
Make up places to go. say you're going to a friends house for dinner, or going out to a restaurant, and then just go somewhere where you can't eat.
When you are hungry do something gross like dig for worms clean a kitty litter box or something it will make you just not hungry.
Always eat teaspoon size amounts of food at any one time and chew well.
Check your head. Never eat anything bigger than your head, even lettuce. You'll only stretch your stomach out. Train your tummy to settle for less
If you love a certain food, save the wrappers even after you've eaten it. Smell it when you're hungry
Never eat anything bigger that your fist
Get your tongue pierced, therefore you can't eat
If you're being watched, try the opaque cup trick; pretend you're eating, and spit the food in the cup while you pretend to be drinking - don't forget to get rid of what's in the cup
Link: ANOREXIA & BULIMIA: THE TRAGIC LIFE OF AIMEE MOORE...LATEST UPDATE: AIMEE DISCHARGED FROM MAGNOLIA CREEK FOR PURGING (January 2, 2009)
Go to the kitchen often, and pretend your snacking, take a bite out of something and take a long time, look in the fridge, ETC! they will think you're always in the kitchen eating, and won't suspect anything.. trust me if you never go in the kitchen, your family *will* notice
Hit your stomach when it grumbles because that will make the sound go away and your stomach will hurt too much to eat
Persuade yourself that you don't like a food, take your favorite food and when you look at it and think yum, think yuck instead
Hide a plate or zip lock bag near your computer..right before supper go to your computer room and when supper is ready say your doing your homework and want them to bring your meal to you..when u get it just put it in the other plate or zip lock bag and bring the dish back up in 15 min.'s..it works just make sure u dispose of the food later
Taking more than the recommended dose of kelp makes you feel sick and you don't have to try and restrict ... not sure about the safety aspect of this tip though
Buy lunches/dinners of canned/contained foods, like lunch buckets, then without cooking them hide them in your room or locker as if you were eating them, and instead walk/drive them once a week to your local homeless shelter
When you are in school, grab something on your way out the door to eat(because you're in a hurry)-throw it out. Then when lunch time comes go to the library instead of with your friends -they will only fuck things up. Then get involved in an activity that goes really late so you come home after everyone else has eaten and you can take a plate of food to your room to eat while you are doing your homework (put the food in a bag and throw it out with tomorrows breakfast. The only thing is weekends- try to stay as busy as possible
Wearing "fashionable" gloves and scarves really helps when you get cold… and makes people less suspicious than if you're always bitching that you're cold when they're all fine
When you feel you need to eat, list the reasons why its not such a good idea, by then you'll most likely lose the craving, and you'll have convincing reasons not to eat
On an empty stomach coffee will make you feel sick and will curb your appetite.
Sniff scented markers or anything else that may smell like a fruit and then you won't be hungry anymore
Whenever you get hungry, think of all the people who made fun of you in junior high.
Samantha and Michaela Kendall, twins with anorexia, both now deceased
Link: ANOREXIA: REMEMBERING SAMANTHA & MICHAELA KENDALL
If you're annoyed at your family for always trying to make you eat breakfast with them, tell them (while holding your stomach with your arms and looking like you're about to puke) that you always feel sick after you eat in the morning so early. Or that you have to go swimming in a few hours, and that you don't like eating before that.
Eat a tiny piece of onion (like 1/2 in square). That way you have onion breath and people believe you really ate.
After you eat brush your teeth. You won't want to eat when you have that minty taste and you teeth are clean
Get tape or those roll up bandages and wind them tightly around your stomach..it stops you from eating because you can't get the food down properly and you also look thinner
If you eat at night before you go to bed make sure you lay on your left side it makes the food go through your system faster and wont have as much time to suck fat out of the food. but you shouldn't eat before you go to bed slows down your metabolism
Just keep yourself extremely busy, almost to the point of being completely stressed out and you can go for 8hrs without being hungry or wanting to eat
If you don't feel comfortable not eating too much, eat only a hard boiled egg, an apple, and a glass of water. It will fill you up all day
If you live with your parents, go to bed early & sleep late to avoid some meals, then go out in the day, & say you've eaten a lot. Also, keeping busy will burn more calories
If you can, get a job around food. I work at an Arby's, and it has curbed my appetite drastically
If sitting at school, college etc. constantly tap your feet/fingers. Fidgeting throughout day is proven to burn up to 800 calories per day
If you're talking about celebrities, make sure to mention how you think Calista Flockhart is too thin and that you think Kate Winslet is gorgeous. Praise fat and people will never guess that you're starving yourself into thinness
Wear nail polish to cover up the bluish tinge that starvation gives your fingernails so others don't suspect it as much
Have to go to a restaurant with someone? Some ways you can avoid eating much - 1. veganism (makes it hard to find suitable food); 2. severe food allergies (always a good answer when they offer chocolate!), or 3. order something that you've never tried before. When you taste it, say you don't like it
Think about what the food would look like in your body after you have eaten it... hopefully that will put you off
My friend, Karlene, November, 2008
Link: KARLENE, MY HEART IS BREAKING...
If you're with your family or something, and you're at a buffet, spend most of the time acting like you're picky, and walk around the buffet tables. Then just get a little something and spit it in your cup or something. Sneak in some exercise too while you're walking
Hit your stomach when it grumbles because that will make the sound go away and your stomach will hurt too much to eat.
Every time you are about to eat something ask yourself "Do I really want that food more than I want to be skinny?"
Make up crazy food rituals and follow them religiously. Track them in your Ana book.
Associate food with feeling sick. You wont want to eat something,if the sight of it repulses you.
Only eat with skinny people, and then eat half of what they eat.
Video tape yourself, and look at it to see how fat you look.
Dont eat lunch- save your lunch money and buy a present for yourself later.
Watch what other people, especially fat people, eat, and feel superior...because they are feeding their fat bodies and they're getting fatter!
Check the fridge when nobody else is around...find food that you would have eaten and get rid of it..then you can say that you ate it
Only eat when other people can see you. That way they cant say "you never eat!"
Leave dirty dishes around the house (example: pour a little milk in a bowl and put some peices of cereal in it and say you ate it) people will think your eating
Don't act oddly. If you're always commenting on how skinny people are or how fattening certain foods are, someone's bound to find how obsessed you are, no one needs to know this except for you.
If you go to a resturant and really cant stand the thought of eating then take a purse lined with plastic inside and order a low fat meal and eat some but when no-one is looking drop some in the bag. ***BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL WITH THIS!!!***
Try not to give too much attention to the mirror when people are near, people might notice.
Avoid watching movies about ana or mia when friends or family are around. Trust me...this makes their suspicion grow!
Just plain out loud lie, it always works, unless its an obvious lie or your a bad liar.
Calculate how much money you're saving by not eating and add this up until you have enough to buy something you like (but not food).
Think about food before and while you eat it. Think about where it came from and exactly what happened to it before it reached you. This works particularly well with meat, dairy, and egg products.
Find something that makes you feel vaguely ill or unpleasant, get a picture of it, and put the picture beside your food. Switch pictures frequently and make sure to look at the pictures while you eat. After a while you may began to associate food itself with unpleasantness, which will make you less inclined to eat.
Sabotage your food. Make it with too much water, too little sugar, an ingredient you don't care for. Add too much salt or pepper before you eat. You will eat less of it if it tastes bad.
Remember, think thin, and try not to faint too often or die."
Hila Elmalich, RIP
Link with video on Hila: HOW MANY MODELS HAVE TO DIE ?
Parents, be vigilant. If your child is exhibiting any of the above behaviours, seek professional help for your child immediately.
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228 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 228 of 228 Newer› Newest»-"trick yourself into believing your life sucks"- lmao
- If you want to lose weight, go for it, but I think that the healthy way is more desirable, considering the harsh circumstances you'll end up with going the 'pro-ana' way. You'll fuck up your body, fuck up your emotions, n most of all, fuck up your life...so basically, pro-fuck-ana. If all you are concerned about is the calorie content of your food, followed by: A) how you're going to avoid it, B) throw it up, or C) work off the calorie content later-- how can you possibly focus on anything else? You'll drive yourself crazy. Your "avoidance of food" is becoming exactly the opposite; you're now obsessed with food, and you'll be thinking about it every second of the day, every day.. you become afraid of food.. bc it is the #1 priority- to be thin. - so all of your REAL responsibilities get thrown out the window.. just like your life. your friends. school. your job. your hobbies/passions/talents. - gone. because YOU are gone: held prisoner by your thoughts n ED, which may end up killing you, but hey, it's worth it right? You're skinny but, like... you're also dead. What's left to appreciate now? - Yeahh. Nothing.. Seriously, like.. how is that cool? or attractive? or (insert dumb adjective here)? You are worth more than the number on the scale; moreover, you're worth more than to subject yourself to a never ending battle of physical/ emotional pain (even if your ED developed out of emotional trauma), you are exacerbating the situation by treating yourself like shit. Find a better outlet. Use your pain to motivate you to claim your strength. Your hunger signals will be totally thrown off bc they'll be exhausted trying to accommodate to your eating habits- your metabolism will slow down- everything you eat, will turn into fat. - your digestive organs won't know what the fuck they're doing anymore- they'll start to break down.. just like every other organ in your body: thyroid, pancreas, kidneys, heart- electrolyte imbalances... Not eating properly will fuck you up emotionally. You'll go psycho; you can't think straight if you starve your brain. Your happiness will soon be based upon-- the number on the scale--which in reality, is just a number- Don't obsess. Chill the fuck out. Measure your success on the way you look and feel; how your clothes fit you; how you are getting more toned from exercising or eating healthier, etc...Make SMART goals, not self-damaging crazy-stupid ones. If you're "too good to put THAT into your body," - then you're also too good to let that control you; and you're too good to willingly make yourself sick with an ED, that you may be stuck fighting for the rest of your life with... I know, from experience, &... well, it fucking sucks. so fuck ana. fuck eating disorders. fuck treating yourself like shit. Once you're reeled in, it's very hard to stop. It controls you. You no longer have control, even if you want it. Being skinny does not have to equate to having an eating disorder. Set up realistic goals. It may take a little longer, but the difference is: lasting effects. you don't fuck up your body. you're still healthy. you still have a life. you don't want to kill yourself because you're stuck in a never-ending cycle of hell. - If I knew before, what I know now, I would've never let myself be dragged down so far.. It's scary & most of all, sad, bc you begin to lose the fun/happy person you used to be, n turn into a self-isolating, depressed zombie. Sure, being thin, made me 'happy', but it also made me wanna kill myself. If the # on the scale crept up by a mere decimal point, I'd freak out- couldn't go anywhere that day. nope. also would havta run to like.. china in attempts to burn it off. It's ur decision: Life... or death? Bc with an ED, you don't even need to die in order for your life to come to an end... you just fade away.
Also, eating disorders are sometimes mistaken for developing a sense of "control" or "willpower", like "ohh, goo yooouuuuu!" because you lost weight, but the funny thing is (or not so funny), it's controlling you... you actually lose all of your "control" and become willingly helpless.. sure, it feels good at first- but that feeling is fleeting- and you're left off begging for help to free yourself from it in the end.. because trust me, you'll want to.. if you want to actually do something with your life, other than be sick and isolated and watch it pass you by, wondering what the fuck happened to each day as it just rolls by right past you.. you'll want to be liberated from this pro-ana-bitch who completely stole your life.
Hi Medusa,
Wow, considering your wrote this article so long ago, it must startle you still to be receiving comments on it. Goes to show how much controversy it's caused, especially to those who haven't got the point of it!
I...well, I do get the point of it. I looked this up specifically to scare myself. I'm 38 and have been bulimic (sometimes with anorexic tendencies too) since I was 17, with a couple of years recovery after hospital treatment. That's 21 years of risking the sort of horrific death you so eloquently pointed out can happen to those who follow these "tips".
Yes, AN and BN (and binge/compulsive eating disorders, to those who ignorantly seem to think that all "fat" people "choose" to be that way) are psychiatric disorders and people don't choose to suffer from them, but now and then we do need a wake-up call.
I want to recover, if not for myself then for my small child, who deserves to have his mother around into his adulthood. 21 years is 21 too long.
Thank you for this.
Kami, I'm so glad you "got" this post. So many haven't, which is distressing.
Recovery is tough, but faced with the reality that you may not be there for your son, you WILL find that strength to recover and be there for him as he grows up.
All the best to you, Kami, and thank you for taking the time to comment. It means a lot to me.
I guess I will say that I am very sorry that you went through that, and my sympathy goes out to you. I just know that feeling alone about my ED now as an average teenager in a modern household... and what I mean about that is being in a world where there is much more room for my privacy and independence, and with the friends I have lost because of my eating... pro ana is the only place I can go to know I am not alone and feel safe. Its where I can have at least one "friend" to talk to that is where I stand and wants what I want. Appreciate your points, I do, but I also understand that technology HAS pushed people so far apart in the real world, that sometimes your only manner of finding some sort of comfort may be online, and may not be from the right place? And some of these pro ana websites are created by girls like me who are alone.
thank you <3
I have something to say, but first I want to explain something about myself.
I don't have an eating disorder, but I am a sex abuse victim, I've been in an abusive relationship (aside from childhood abuse), my parents died when I was an adolescent, and I didn't have many friends--my 8th grade band director was arrested for stautory rape, eh, of me...no one's parents wanted me around their kids, and the kids didn't understand; it's not like I had a chance to tell my story.
So, I suffered from depression, low self image, shame, and suicidal thoughts for about a decade. I'm doing a lot better now. For a few years, I was a cutter, and I did it because my life was so out of control, but when I cut, I could control what I felt. My adopted parents' daughter was anorexic, and she did it for the same reason: control. When everything in life has gone to hell, sometimes I still want to cut, and I had to learn healthy ways to deal with that.
I came across this site because I'm doing a 40 day fast for the lent season (I eat before sunrise and after sunset every day, but it's about thirteen hours without food). I'm also hypoglysemic, so sometimes I feel fait, and I was wondering how to keep my blood sugar up. Interestingly, as much as I love food, I don't mind being hungry. It is enjoyable in its own right, so I feel like I can sorta relate to anorexics in that sense.
But to everyone out there who has ever had an eating disorder, self-harming habbit, drug addiction, or has ever felt worthless, I want to say this:
you are beautiful, because you were created in the image of God (genesis chapter 1:27)
you are worthy because he gave so much for you (Isaiah 53:3)
and you are lovely because he created you to be loved (1 Cor 1:9)
You were made for more than having control, you were made for something so great, you could never imagine! I don't know you, but I know you're amazing. The emptiness won't fill you, the illusion of control will only take from you. You are not alone, and you were never meant to do this alone.
Most likely no one who is Ana is gonna listen to you. Alot of us are beyond reason... I'm 5'3" and 95.2 lbs and I feel fat as fuck. I want to lose just 5 more pounds, then I might be happy. But the point is, writing a post like that isn't gonna make us see what we're doing to ourselves, we have to want to get better. No one can talk us out of this lifestyle...
children are dying in third world countries. starving to death because they are not given the option to eat. yet a large amount of you are willingly choosing to do this. that is just sad to see. what would those children say to you if they knew? selfish. you should be grateful for what you have and not waste this blessing called living.
I'm 27 and have been an anorexic since 12. I've gone on some pro ana sites because I had never even heard of pro ana until a couple of months ago. I found most of the tips to be amateur child's play. Though I laughed at the snapping rubberband one because, considering I'm a masochist & I do that to relieve my tension, it'd be more of a reward for eating than a punishment! lol.
First I want to tell that I love the message you want to tell with this website, I think you are doing a great job with letting people see what the consequences could be.
I'm an anorexic now for over 7 years, it's distroying my life completely. I don't understand that some people are mad at us because we don't eat, we don't choose to be anorexic. For me this disease isn't about getting skinny it's all about having some control in your life and for me the only thing I could have control about was my body. I will post my own story here and hopefully I can show that anorexia is more than only being skinny.
For me it all started when I was 8 years old, my dad was abusing me physically and always calling me fat. My mum had always been on a diet as far as I can remember, she was always afraid that I would get as fat as she was so she constantly put me on a scale to see if I had gained any weight. My mother didn't knew about the abuse (She still doesn't know about it). On one point in life (age 12) I was sick of being controlled by others, I want to have some control by myself. I started to diet so my father (I hoped) wouldn't call me fat anymore. I lost a large amount of weight in a few months, my mother began to notice and pushed me to eat better. I did but the weight came on so fast that I was really scared about it (I'm talking about 1/3 stone a day! I know this is ridiculous but I thought it was all fat, now I know better). After a week I stopped eating again and started a crash diet with a lot of running (2x 10 miles a day) the only problem was that instead of loosing weight I gained weight! In a month I gained 4 stone! I went to a doctor with this problem, told him that I wasn't eating too much but yeah obviously he didn't believe that, but I send me to the hospital for a full screening. There the problem only gotten worse! The doctors in the hospital couldn't find any reason for me to gain so much weight in so little time, so the only thing that could be the problem was that I ate too much and I have to eat less if I want to control my weight. Stupid as I was I did what they told me, but no matter what I did I wouldn't loose any weight! I starved myself for years, fainting everyday, feeling depressed, always crying at night. My mother saw me gaining weight and told me again and again that I ate to much, but I couldn't eat less anymore. This went on and on for 6 years, then I got hospitalized for a serious low heart rate it was about 24 bpm and my body just stopped with al it's normal functions. At the hospital they found out that I was suffering from anorexia, but that weight loss was not achieved because of food intolerances and celiac disease. These conditions made my body retaining water, so many that my body had a normal weight. By the time I got out of the hospital I knew what to eat and started losing the water very fast! Now (only 3 months after being hospitalized) I can see what I've done to my body all these years and it's horrible, but the fear of gaining weight again is so overwhelming! I'm in treatment for my anorexia, but I have no improvement at all only because I don't have faith in the doctors, it was them who told my I was eating too much after all. I want to recover from anorexia but at this moment I don't know how I will be able to do it.
I hope my story will let see that anorexia isn't a lifestyle you choose to be! It's a disease which is caused by multiple causes which is different for every anorexic of boulimia sufferer. An eating disorder ruins your life! You feel miserable all the time, we don't need anyone to tell is we are crazy we already feel miserable enough!
(((Ashley)))
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Hugs to you,
Medusa
Please help me, ive been bulemic since i was 15 because i wanted to look like more like my friends, who although a third of my size, were always complaining about being fat. I am now 20 and cant stop... I am either refusing to eat or once i start eating i feel sick and feel the need to get rid of the food asap! i look in the mirror every day and am still not happy with what i see but i have recently taken up swimming and have lost 17 lbs in 3 weeks and frankly im scared. i suffered with depression from the age of 17 to 19 when my sister decided enough was enough. she has known of my habits for the last 2 years and knows the signs after i have been sick so she gives out, and she also gives out when i dont eat full meals but she doesnt understand that i am trying. last year i stopped for about 4 months, it was extremely difficult, but after my 4 year relationship ended i began inflicting the pain on myself once again. now no matter what i try i cant shake it off. please help me.
It doesn't matter if you know the correct term of lanugo, or if the links posted still work or not. Majority of the comments posted seem to have missed the point or cannot comprehend that you are not supporting ana/mia. I wanted to write you and say that your website was one of the few factors that helped me fully recover from battling bulimia/anorexia for 8 years You really do present the truth to what an eating disorder can lead to. I never got my 12 year molars or wisdom teeth, and have had to have 9 filings in my back teeth just from bulimia. I hope more struggling girls can find comfort in this website and seek recovery like I did.
Thank you
SS, thanks so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me.
Congratulations on your recovery! I'm sure it was a tough battle but you won. Congratulations!
Medusa
This is fucking disgusting !!! I cant even believe these girls think they look good being that skinny.! You guys and girls need God in your lifes! Distract your minds and see theres more than trying to b perfect! Nobody is perfect! And sit back and think when were you the happiest when you actually looked normal or now when your scary skinny...and if your doing this for attention how selfish are you to put your beautiful bodies to this and the happiness of your family because if you think your the only sad ones and depressed no your parents sisters and brothers are going thru this too! give yourselves a chance to live and I promise you u wont regret it!God bless you all!
Why? Why would you do this? This is not beautiful. I'm not overweight, but my friends are. They are beautiful. I'm not afraid to get fat, because I work out and EAT right. Skin and bones are NOT pretty. Please eat something. YOU are beautiful regardless of what you feel or what ana tells you. Shut that voice up in your head. You need to to live, just don't go over or under board. I'm doing a report as I write this, and I think I have enough information to turn in. EVERYONE HERE IS BEAUTIFUL, DON'T CONVINCE YOURSELVES YOU'RE FAT. STOP IT. JESUS LOVES YOU. THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. :) <3
Reading all these negative comments by people who aren't fat just don't understand. Thank you so much for putting these up. I'm poor as hell, living in my car for long periods of time, and can't afford to buy fresh healthy foods or go to the gym. I've gotten so fat, 250 lbs, because eating cheap yummy snack food is literally the only thing I enjoy in life anymore. If I give that up, I don't really know what I'll do with myself, but maybe I'll lose enough weight that I'll finally get a job and people will stop snickering at me behind my back in public. Wish me luck!
"Watch what other people, especially fat people, eat, and feel superior...because they are feeding their fat bodies and they're getting fatter!"
but your sick brain tells you everyone is fat. when you are 60lbs you still think you're fat. maybe you should watch other people eat and feel shame for not providing your own body with nutrients like those normal "fat" people. who are not actually fat, but healthy and vibrant as opposed to sickly and pale.
Your so immature.
you are so immature.
I liked the tips thnk u I better buy some chanel .
You know, thats not right, calling people with eating disorders stupid. Sure, I'm not pro Ana or anything like that, but still
Thank you! Some of these people are actually making me reality angry. I liked the message Medusa put through with the page, but the people in the comments that don't have eds and don't understand need to understand that some of the things they're saying really hurt. And they're lies. But hey, why not get on a page intended for mentally ill people and make them feel even more like crap right?
Women* sorry
(I'm dumb about replying to a comment from 2009 in 2017 but whatever)
About those pics, do you have premission to post them from the women in the pics?
I love your blog and your message however I do think about how those women would feel if they didn't know they were gonna be on this blog. Like if I came across myself on a post like this I would feel horrible!
EDs do not lead to beauty or anything good, I love how honest you are about where they lead to.
This post makes me angry. In my college time, there was one time I didn't eat for almost 2 days. It was the busiest time of my life. I really did not have time to eat because of the university tasks. I remember when I finally able to eat, it tasted like heaven. I had cheap instant noodle (I know it is unhealthy), but I was very happy.
I'm mad at these pro-ana/mia. They can afford and have time to eat, but they waste it to get the "perfect body".
I was bulimic for 17 years and had to get 15 crown stop replace dead teeth which cost my parents $9000 then I turned to Crystal meth to curb my appetite. It worked but then I was a drug addict. I had to go to rehab and gained 50 pounds. I’ve never been this big and I cry each day. I wish I could just be 125 that isn’t even sickly.
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