Karlene (November 25/08)
Fifteen minutes ago, I checked Karlene's journal to see if she had updated. She has been in hospital since Halloween and I've been so worried about her. When I saw her photo I cried.
Oh, Karlene, I don't know what to say. I am heartbroken for you.
Here is Karlene's post from today (Tuesday, November 25/08):
"Sunken Eyes
I am sorry I have not kept up with this "diary." I'm just so tired and out of beath! My weight is fluctuating between 69 and 70 pounds. Although I think I look gross as in terms of thinness, I want my weight to go lower. That is SICK, I know!! It's not even about looking skinny anymore. It's more about disappearing! I'm consumed with guilt and shame and just want to float away.
I see my doc on the 1st of December. We will talk about the gastric pacemaker. I don't know if he will go for it or not because everyone doesn't think I'll make it through the surgery.
Oh, how I hurt: physically and emotionally!! I sleep ALL the time now and am "out of it" half the time. I do and say things I don't even remember doing or saying.
Thank you for thinking of me and praying for me and my family!! So many of you are so very sweet to me and that means SO MUCH! I love you all~~~~~
Mood: nauseated"
Karlene (November 10/08)
For those of you who may be unaware, Karlene has asked me to share her story with others who are suffering from anorexia in the hope that they will seek help before it's too late.
Please visit Karlene's journal and send her some love:
To read my previous posts on Karlene, please click here:
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4 comments:
There are new updates.
http://chronicanorexic.livejournal.com/14194.html
I am not advertising, but from experience I am able to live, a somewhat normal life with only periods of relapse thoughts I can get help with. I was ill from 12-28 yrs of age(and like I said, when under stress I can fall but I recognize the thoughts=death and I am not going out that way) Shades of Hope in Buffalo Gap Tx specialized in eating disorders and helped me understand and face my fears... I wasn't in remission when I left but I fought and used things I learned about myself to get to a better life and most of all I was so near death and I pulled out of it. I have been there and I will always have tendencies but if you want to live, you can, you have to fight. It's one of the hardest things to overcome... The fear is overwhelming, but please know it can be done. Don't give up. Fight and dedicate yourself to put all the energy wrapped up in the disorder into energy fighting the curse that is killing you.
Karlene's journal is no longer available to read online.
Anonymous, perhaps Karlene's family had it removed after her passing.
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