WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS...

"He has all the virtues I dislike & none of the vices I admire."

-- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure"

-- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

-- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

-- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing 2 tickets to the 1st night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."

-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...

followed by Churchill's response:

"Cannot possibly attend 1st night, will attend 2nd, if there is one."

-- Winston Churchill

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."

-- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

-- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

-- Irvin S Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."

-- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

-- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."

-- Walter Kerr

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

-- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away & kept the stork."

-- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

-- Oscar Wilde

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