MOLE WANTED ~~ NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY !!!

There's been a paucity of information coming from deep inside the Kimkins
website these days.....in fact, forthcoming information has ground to a screeching halt.

This worries me, as many dieters desperate to lose weight have signed up with Kimkins, even after all the negative publicity surrounding the Kimkins starvation diet and its founder, Heidi Diaz/Kimmer has been brought to light.


So I thought I would put out an APB for a mole to do some digging for me at the Kimpound.


Firstly, if you wish to apply for this position, kindly read the following:

Mole Personality Quiz Text

Our intelligence mission is the work of the dieting nation — and our success depends on a network of professionals around the world.

Myth 1- You’ll Never See Your Family and Friends Again

The work you will do may be secret, but that doesn’t mean your life will be. Your friends and family will still be part of your life.

Myth 2- Everyone Drives a Sports Car with Machine Guns in the Tailpipes

Car chases through the alleyways of a foreign city are common on TV, but they’re not what a mole's career is about. And, they don’t compare with the reality of being part of worldwide intelligence operations supporting a global mission to rid the world of the deadly Kimkins diet.

Myth 3- You Have to be Superhuman in Every Way

You don't have to know karate or look good in a tuxedo to work as a mole. But you must possess a deep intellect, the ability to make good decisions and a dedication to serving dieters worldwide through the collection of intelligence.

Myth 4- A Glamorous Lifestyle Awaits You

Working as a mole doesn’t mean you’ll be jet-setting around the globe, attending parties with billionaires and showing off your Tango skills. In reality, we depend on administrative managers and staff for our operational success, at home and abroad.

Myth 5-Hardly Anyone Ever Makes it Through the Background Check

Because of our security role, mole applicants must meet specific qualifications — but, don’t worry. Getting caught smoking in high school isn’t enough to disqualify you. Your intellect, skills, experience and desire to serve the dieting nation are most important to us.

Job Qualifications

The minimum of a Grade 3 education is required

Foreign language proficiency, especially double-talk, is a plus

Interpersonal skills, solid writing ability, and a strong interest in safe dieting are necessities

Maximum age for entry is 102

Any citizenship is allowed

Applicants DO NOT have to successfully complete a medical examination, polygraph interview and an extensive background investigation

~~~~~

To be considered for employment as a mole for Medusa, please leave an anonymous comment on this post. Your comment will be automatically forwarded to me via e-mail for publication. To ensure total secrecy, I will NOT publish your comment so that your anonymity is maintained.

Any and all candidates will be given consideration. And thank you in advance for your interest in this position.

UPDATE !!!

Thanks to everyone who has contacted me re the MOLE position!

A few of you have left me Anonymous comments offering your assistance, but I am unable to respond to you because I don't have your e-mail addresses.

So please send me another Anonymous comment with your e-mail address and I'll be in touch with you right away.

Your e-mail address will be kept strictly confidential. Thanks so much!

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