FROM MY MOLE INSIDE THE KIMPOUND: KIMMER RESPONDS TO THE STARVING WOMAN...

Greta Garbo as Mata Hari

I have the great fortune of having the most intrepid mole any politician, reporter, or blogger could ask for.

I just received this dispatch from my mole, who is deep inside the Kimpound, regarding the Kimkins member who is starving.

NOTE:

To protect the identity of the starving woman, I have replaced her username with "JANE DOE." I can confirm that she is 42 years of age.

My mole also reports on another woman going down that deadly Kimkins starvation path and I have replaced her username with "BETTY SMITH."

All who commented on posts by JANE DOE and BETTY SMITH have had their Kimkins usernames removed...everyone, that is, except Heidi Diaz/Kimmer.

Comments made by my mole are in GREEN and in a larger font.

And all of Kimmer's responses are in BLUE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE DISPATCH

JANE DOE:

Ok, Now I know something is wrong. Last night was the most difficult night I've ever had on Kimkins...I was starving and it was all mental so it was especially difficult. I held it together and went to be especially early in order to sleep through the thoughts of different foods.

I survived.

Jumped on the scale this morning and I am still 246. Yesterday I was saying it must be my scale, but when I got on the scale in the gym it read 242...the same number as a week ago. I got out the tape measure and it read 46.5", ok, that is a solid 46.5 for the first time...that's good, I'm still slimming there.

How is it possible that I am losing inches and not losing weight. I know the answer I am in the shrinking phase. HOWEVER, this is very frustrating. Today is day 26 cheat free. 26 days of being VERY VERY VERY good...not cheating once and I've only lost 18lbs...WTH. I'm angry.

Ok, I am entering day 2 of shakes only...I hate this. It's not that I can't do it, but I knew this was going to be very difficult for me. I've never done well on just fluids...never. Something in my mind tells me loud and clear that nobody should have to go to all liquids to lose weight...it is a difficult message to fight. There are many medically sponsored diets that are all liquid...so we know they are safe, that is not my problem, it is that...if I'm exercising I should not have to diet and if I'm dieting I should not have to exercise thing going on...so when I'm exercising and following a diet to the letter and still not seeing the scale go down it is very difficult for me to wrap my mind around.

Understand, this has happened EVERYTIME I've dieted. This has nothing at all to do with this woe. It happened on Atkins, on South Beach, on WW, on every diet I've ever done. It is not that I can't diet, it is that I get to this place where my body defeats me. I can't let that happen this time. I want to see what is on the other side of this...ride it out to it's end...but how long will it continue? How long will it take for me to feel good about what I'm doing...to realize victory.

Victory...2 full sizes gone. Rings fitting like they should, breast smaller, face looking thinner, longer, I'm feeling lighter when I walk, people are noticing...

Victory...26 days cheat free, one body roll gone, my hands are looking smaller, I've purged my closet and shopped in the 'normal sizes'

But for me victory will be seeing the scale go down, for in the end that is the goal.

I need just one lb. I see everybody else dropping weight, I'm in every challenge I can jump in, I am exercising and being supportive, I just can't understand why I can't have the same results...I should be at aleast 30lbs down by now...why has the good Lord denied me that extra 12lbs?

Ok, enough of this feeling sorry for myself for now. I just needed to get it out. It is not 4:53AM I am going to jump on the treadmill this morning and am going to do double duty this afternoon with weights AND a run. My fitday shows me that my activity far out plays my intake...that is that I'm burning far more than I am taking in. Traditional thought would say that I should be dropping weight like crazy...mabye when my body finishes shrinking the scale will start moving...shrink away body, shrink away.

I expect to be at size 14 by 230 at this rate (I usually hit a 14 at 225 but we will see). I'm not sure how to set goals now...I have 4 days (including today) to lose SOMETHING for Kimmers mini-challenge...what if I'm still 246 on the 11th...do I stop participating in mini-challenges...I hate to lose but I am losing left and right here...in every challenge I accept...when does that start working against me?

I am entering that self-loathing stage...that sad deeply depressed stage that I always go through. I don't want to show this on the site, I want to run and hide, but this time instead of running from it I think I should face it and work through it.

I am still eating clean, my stomach feels bloated this morning because when I got up I drank 67.6 oz of Diet Lipton White Tea...not only was I hungry but I was thirsty...so now I'm dragging and I dont want to try on any clothing for fear that I am now bloated. Not to mention TOM is on it way...darn.

5:16AM Still not on the treadmill...I don't think I'm doing it this morning...my stomach feels like it is going to burst. I just tried on 8 pairs of size 16 slacks...not one fit...all way to small. I am chalking up my size 16s that I am wearing as vanity sizing...that is size 18 slacks with a size 16 tag. There are simply too many that don't fit for me to think I am a size 16...so I change what I previously posted and state I am not down 2 sizes just one. 18s are roomy, but the majority of 16s don't fit. So I still can shop in the normal sizes...I just have to go for the largest size in that category.

JANE DOE"


[NAME REMOVED]: JANE DOE After reading what you posted it broke me heart. I feel your frustration. I have been there but I was weak and gave in to "whatever" You though are strong. I wish there were some words of wisdom I could offer except I am here. I wish I could tell you the numbers don't mean anything but I know they are important, to me too. Continue to push forward. Don't look back not even a peek over your shoulder. I know as we age our bodies react differently. You are doing the right thiings. You are feeling healthy. Wish I could make the numbers change for you. (((hugs)))


[NAME REMOVED]: JANE DOE- Honey I am so feeling for you. I know excatly what you are going through. Don't beat your self up. You are on the right track. I promise. I was also not losing(remember just a week ago) after the dr and all the meds and crap he told me When i called him to slow do on my work outs. He did not say quit but he said that sometimes we have to trick our bodies. If they think they have won the start working to burn fat again. I don't know it if will work for you but I was working our for at least 1 hour and sometimes 2 I cut that back to abour 45 minutes and I have lost 3 pounds. Just a thought. I am here for you and so are all these other great people. Keep your head high and just keep going. IT WILL COME OFF.

[NAME REMOVED]: JANE DOE~ Bless your heart..I too can feel your frustration. I dont have any answers for you other than stick with it....you know something HAS to happen after a while...it just has to.... make this a challenge against your own body... and YOU will win...


Kimmer: JANE DOE - Love those "squat" tips! Now that's something even I could/would do (especially with all these potty breaks!) And that chalkboard avatar! Too precious!!! I'm thinking it might be a good idea to call your doctor. Make sure you don't have an obstruction blocking anything. Liver panel might be a good idea (ignore me, I'm not a doctor). There has to be a reason for no loss if your calories are lower plus exercise. You're not using SF syrups, right? Puzzling? NO SELF LOATHING! Negative tapes playing in your head don't help ... they hurt. You're smart, you know that. If you're going down in sizes, then the scale will eventually catch up. You can't weigh 246 at size 10.


[NAME REMOVED]: JANE DOE, try & look at the big picture. You HAVE lost 18 pounds in 26 days. That's over a half pound a day average! That's quite a major accomplishment. Just keep moving forward. The scale will act right before you know it!

JANE DOE'S next post is giving an exercise tip …

[NAME REMOVED]: JANE DOE - perhaps instead of doing all shakes, you may want to supplement with some protein. When I do shakes, I usally have just a shake and an energy drink in the morning, a shake for lunch with some tuna, salmon, nuts, etc., and the same for dinner. I think that just straight shakes is extremely difficult. Having some protein may take the 'edge' off. My scale actually went up since Sunday night, but I can feel and see in my stomach that it is getting a little slimmer. I am holding out for a 'whoosh' by Thursday or Friday.

JANE DOE'S next post:


Hi guys...I just got back from the track


I DID IT!!! I DID IT!!! I DID IT!!!! I RAN A 10 MINUTE MILE....

My second mile was 12 minutes...my knee started to hurt like *&^% so I stopped. But I did it...I could have done three miles in 30 minutes if not for this dang knee!

1st I went to the gym and did that crunch machine I told you about yesterday...I could only do 23 crunches again...funny number, but I really could not do another one. I got up and went to the track...I was running like my life depended on it...OMG it was so much fun! I lapped two people, both younger than me and one I lapped twice!

After the 2 miles I went back to the gym and did upper body exercises. There is one exercise I took from The Biggest Loser, you take a free weight (I use 15lbs) and do toe touches with it, when you come to the standing position you raise the weight over your head, completely extending your arm...this is one fluid motion, to the toe and then smoothly lift the weight over your head...I do 15 on each side....will work that up to 50...yeah right...by the end of the year...lol.

So I am going to take one exercise from The Biggest Loser each week and work it into my personal workout. I noticed that the ones they show are mainly exercises we can do at home...or in our gym...Just make sure you keep the right form, anybody in your gym should be able to guide you if you are not sure.

[NAME REMOVED] - I am going to stick with the protein shakes. I only had one yesterday, the chocolate one, it has 6 carbs so I just assumed the vanilla had 6 also...but the vanilla has 4 so I can have one shake in the AM and one in the PM and still stay at 10 or under in carbs...it gives me that second can, which I really need mentally. Switching any part of my diet is going to send me into that mental tug of war. it is all mental...I just have to find ways to work through it...like actually talking about it, thanks for all the feedback guys...it really helped.

[NAME REMOVED] - where are you? How is the shake challenge going...I will be over to your journal to visit today.

[NAME REMOVED] - sorry you are having such problems with your home, 5200 to fix that problem sounds right though. Good luck, thanks for the encouragement today...it really helped.

Well, I found myself walking with a little bit of a swagger today coming from the gym...I felt that good. Nobody can tell me I'm not getting smaller, this blouse I am wearing is just sort of hanging there, no HUGE tummy. I like what I see...

Ok, I should get some work done now...


JANE DOE again … signs of trouble?

Does anybody know a carb friendly way of getting in more salt? My fingers were swollen by the end of my run which is a sign of electrolyte imbalance. Drinking water but not taking in enough salt causes the water to leak out of blood vessels and soak into the extremeties.

I would usually use a sport drink but they are not carb friendly...Kimmer what you do you suggest?

Thanks
JANE DOE

Let’s see … so far one recommendation of pop ….

Ah … the Kimmer speaks:

JANE DOE wrote:

Does anybody know a carb friendly way of getting in more salt? My fingers were swollen by the end of my run which is a sign of electrolyte imbalance. Drinking water but not taking in enough salt causes the water to leak out of blood vessels and soak into the extremeties.

I would usually use a sport drink but they are not carb friendly...Kimmer what you do you suggest?

Thanks
JANE DOE

Do you mean only salt or the electrolytes lost in sweat? I'm not an electrolyte expert and I think messing with double or more doses of anything is not good (electrolytes are what keep our heart running smoothly).

Here's a dab of info (thought you might find the electrolyte info on the cycling site good):

Gatorade, 8 oz:
Sodium: 110 mg
Potassium: 30 mg
Calories: 50
Protein: 0
Carbs: 14

Lettuce Rollup, 1:
Sodium: 253 mg
Potassum: 198 mg
Vitamin K: 95%
Calories: 43
Protein: 3
Carbs: 2

Table salt, 1/8 tsp:
Sodium: 290 mg

Lettuce Rollup (1):
1 romaine leaf
1/2 cup baby spinach raw
1/4 Roma tomato chopped
1/2 slice extra lean ham
1 tsp light mayo

Interesting Info on Electrolytes: http://www.ultracycling.com/nutrition/electrolytes.html

Have you checked out products like www.crampnomore.com? Don't know anything about them, but I've heard it's no carb/no cal.


then another voice suggests low carb Gatorade type drink from GNC …

[NAME REMOVED]: JANE DOE: Girlfriend, with those intense workouts, you rock!!! You are going to be good and toned, you are amazing, you got me up in the mornings to workout!! Thanks!

more folks giving pats on the back for the workout …

Wow … here’s someone all excited they are at 694 cals for the day …

[NAME REMOVED]: Thanks JANE DOE and [NAME REMOVED] for your support It's good to not feel like the only one who feels this way. JANE DOE, you were writing about your frustration with not losing.. you are exercising your face off, eating on program... and you are frustrated that the scale is not moving..

here's the thing... I think your body needs time to catch up with all you've done... you are putting it through it's paces and thats a good thing, but I'm thinking that you will see a whoosh when you are caught up. Are you drinking lots of water? 8 glasses a day plus a glass for every 25 pounds you are overweight is the guide I read that made good sense to me.. Perhaps talking with a pharmacist would give you some ideas on which electrolyte replacement is best for you ? Are you sure the swelling in the hands is from the electrolytes and not from anything else? Have you had this before? or has it just started now that you are exercising? Could it be dependant edema from running etc with hands down? There are some rehydration drinks on the market, I am not sure what the potassium/sodium levels are in them... but perhaps just upping your water intake when you exercise would be enough? (assuming your kidneys are normal functioning ones? )

I think you are doing swell, and muscle does weigh more than fat.. so the weight loss not showing up makes sense to me.. because you are becoming more fit... the good news is , is that once you are more muscular, more fit.. you will be that much more efficient at burning calories.. so it's a win win situation...

i also feel that we place alot of importance on the scale... alot... and I think it's more how we feel that should be what we strive for.. a healthy efficient body... with great _meta_bolism, and low bmi and the number on the scale... well i set my goal for 160.. i'm 5 5 and if I am at 180 but am muscle and lean, i would be ok with that... at this point I have not been exercising.. but plan to start. YOU my dear, are my new hero.


JANE DOE again:

248.5 - This is a combination of weight training and TOM (not quite here yet so I'm in the bloaty stage). There is nothing else that could account for this number this morning. When we weight train our bodies wrap our muscles in protective liquid to guard against us harming them further, it usually takes about 3 days for that to dissipate so I'm stuck with it for a while. I actually debated about starting weight training so close to a weigh-in but I just love those weights...I'm hooked now.

Anticipating that I would not be able to make it through another night of just shakes, I took a sleeping pill when I got home last night (5PM) and was sound asleep by 9 so I did not get to watch the end of The Biggest Loser. I forced my eyes to say open just long enough to see the exercise I am taking from the show. I will add it into my routine today. It is a version of an exercise called Superman, very effective core exercise.

Kimmer - Yes, I mean electrolytes - I've used pure table salt in the past. Thanks for the info I'm heading off to read it in a little while.

[NAME REMOVED] - I'm glad I can inspire you to get moving, you will be very happy when you get to gal that you are not what I like to refer to as a fat skinny person. Do what you can now and it will pay off tenfold down the line!

[NAME REMOVED] - Words of wisdom. I'm really not a water drinker - I don't think you will find many (if any) posts where I stated I drank water...for all the studies that say it is necessary, there are those who say it is not...I favor on the side of not. As far as dependant edema from running that is the same problem everybody is talking about, it is usually caused by a salt imbalance in the body. I think I will try the electrolyte caps or the Glaceau Smart Water that dakota_style_ PMd me about it has no calories and no carbs (probably the way I will go because it not only address the electrolyte problem but the dehydration problem also) I will stop at the mall tonight to find some, if not I will order it online. I’ve had this problem since I was in my 30s I guess I’ve never been hydrated properly…lol.

[NAME REMOVED] – I really can’t tell you where you should start on your machine. I really have no idea what your endurance level is nor do I know how physically fit you are. The best thing I can tell you is to get on and move! Which machine did you get? Does it have different exercise programs? I would start with weight loss, but play around with it. Personally I like to hit the weight loss function and then I increase the resistance as far as I can. I would also suggest to add in a few backwards pedals…it makes the workout much more difficult and targets the glutes.

JANE DOE


[NAME REMOVED]: JANE DOE, when I lost the 20 pounds back in August I was exercising alot and doing everything to a T. The 1 month mark was almost up and I was only down 14 pounds, then right at the 1 month mark I lost that 6 pounds. I think your waiting for your whoosh. I was reading one of the forum posts and they were talking about people stop losing at some point and think it's not working hence stop dieting and yo-yo dieting starts. (I am not suggesting you are yo-yo dieting just telling you what was written) But what I'm trying to say is your losing the inches and your body is trying to hold onto that fat and it will get rid of it when your body says, OK let's not hold onto this anymore. If I did not read that I probably would of given up thinking the diet was not working for me. I feel for you cause I felt the same way back then. But you will see the scale moving.

JANE DOE then goes on a tirade about how fat does weigh less than muscle, rather muscle is more dense and one pound of muscle is more compact, yada yada yada … makes a good point, actually.

Kimmer speaks: JANE DOE - Hmmm, that scale IS going to cooperate! I may need to come back there and have a heart to heart talk with it! If you try any of those electrolyte supplements, let us know how they work for you (and taste).

"Muscle weighs more than fat" used to bug KimATC (certified trainer) and someone explained to me maybe they meant for the same volume ... 1 cup of muscle will weigh less than 1 cup of fat (blech, a cup of either one!!!) In the lastest issue of Oprah magazine, a Q & A asks if it's possible to lose fat cells, which I had always heard isn't possible. The expert, Dr. David Katz (does the health segments on Good Morning America) says it is. I'll repost that part of the article when I find it again. That was interesting to me, first I'd heard of it.

~~~~~~~~~~

Here’s another poster, BETTY SMITH who is eating like nothing … brother, SF Jello and maybe a shake later on …. so sad ….

BETTY SMITH was, in her words, starving today. And by the looks of it, she is! A shake for breakfast and one for lunch … and wanting to know if it’s okay to eat something else. JANE DOE asks her why she can’t eat more, but if she is doing the shake mini-challenge to have low sodium chicken broth …

Kimmer tells her: Make something! You don't want to be hungry, that's not fun or good psychologically. What about egg drop soup? Some snacky protein (my fave is extra lean sandwich ham with a dab of mustard).

[NAME REMOVED]: JANE DOE- sad to say that I can't finish the last 2 days of shakes with you, but I will continue to cheer you on.

BETTY SMITH is on a dangerous track …

The rest of my day seemed to go very well. so my acutal menu today was

b shake
l shake
snack little over half a small chicken breast
d I had chicken yes I did have a diet soda

I am so sore. the digging is done but one thing I learned today... NEVER DO THE SHAKE THING ON A VERY BUSY OR ACTIVE DAY!!

My hands were shaking and I was very light headed. I guess I won't be doing that again.

BETTY SMITH

END OF DISPATCH

Heidi, my impression from reading your responses to JANE DOE and BETTY SMITH leads me to believe that you find nothing abnormal in the fact that they are eating virtually nothing (i.e. starving) and ignoring the signs that they are both spiraling into the vortex of anorexia nervosa and pro-ana behavior.

Another deep concern is that the advice being given to these two women by some Kimkins members is disconcerting, to say the least. Telling these starving women to eat more is obviously not part of the Kimkins mantra or mindset.

I am truly at a loss for words.

Heidi, do you remember Dr. Jack Kevorkian? If not, look him up. I hear his old cell bunk is available.

And just a reminder...you have many watchers, some with real badges, inside the Kimpound right now.

And to my mole...thank you, thank you, thank you. I will be forever indebted to you.

PICTURE OF GRETA GARBO AS MATA HARI:

http://www.moviemaidens.com/profile.asp?i=1009&e=2&ct=1&r=1&f=Greta&l=Garbo

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