HEIDI HITS A STALL !!!

So how's that Kimkins diet workin' for ya, Heidi? Not so well, I see. It's been a little while, too, since you've updated your weight-loss progress on your website. Come on...out with it! We're all waiting with bated breath for your latest numbers.

I'm truly shocked you haven't had that 10-pound-a-week weight loss you've been touting on your website. What's goin' on? Only a 3-pound loss in two weeks? Gawd! Are you strictly following your Kimkins starvation diet, with NO tweaking? I think not, my dear.

I guess what's got me confused is reconciling this very recent picture of you at your deposition re the civil suit...

...with your "current" photo to the right below, especially given the picture taken by the intrepid Private Investigator, Robert Charlton, which is to the left below:

Pssst....Heidi. That "current" picture of yours is the worst example of photoshopping I've ever seen. How did you manage to lose half your arse by purportedly dropping 31 pounds? That's quite the feat.

You know what I really think? Now, I know you really don't care what I think, but I'm going to tell you, anyway.

You're not on any diet, other than downing copious amounts of Diet Coke & Cap'n Morgan. Must be so stressful for you with the law and IRS breathing down your neck, and all those plaintiffs coming after you in the civil suit. Have another drink, dear. Drown your sorrows. You had fun while it lasted, didn't you, but now it's time to pay the piper.

The clock is ticking, Heidi. Enjoy every moment of your freedom because you're SO close to that 4 x 6 room in the Big House. PS...don't drop the soap.

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